


Those (Mostly) Awkward Encounters Peter Would Like to Forget

by lightrock105



Series: Peter Parker's Immaculate Luck [2]
Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Identity Reveal, IronDad and SpiderSon, Loki gets annoyed by Thor, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Peter has abs, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony is an embarrassing dad, peter doesn't like mint, will update as I go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2020-06-09 18:56:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19481968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightrock105/pseuds/lightrock105
Summary: Oneshots for the first part of this series, To Be a Stark. Including accidentally calling Tony dad in front of other people and revealing he is Spider-Man to the other Avengers.You don't need to read the first part of the series for this to make sense, but I would appreciate it :)I've added dates just like in To Be a Stark, so if you want to look at it chronologically and compare it to the first part of the series, you can, but if you just want to read them as one-shots, that's okay too!





	1. You're Not Dad (Peter meets Steve)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you want to see where this chapter lines up in comparison to To Be a Stark, those chapters are:
> 
> Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End - April 20, 2018
> 
> Chapter 2: A Way Back - April 26, 2018
> 
> Chapter 3: Is It Too Late to Fake Being Sick? - June 8, 2018
> 
> **This chapter begins on May 17, 2018**

Peter was excited. No, he was _ecstatic_. The biochemistry test that he and Tony had been up all night studying for had been easier then he expected, and he got a _one hundred_ on it. He was practically vibrating as he ran out of the elevator and skidded around the corner to the lounge. Said test was clutched to his chest, the bright red "100" shown clearly on the top.

"Dad, _oh my god_ , guess who aced their biochem - you're not dad." Peter stopped in his tracks at the person in front of him. Steve was sitting on the couch, mug slowly slipping from his grasp as he gaped at Peter. The test fluttered out of Peter's hands and slipped under a recliner. Who the heck was this kid? And who was his father? Steve had never seen him in the tower before, and he knew he wasn't lost because F.R.I.D.A.Y. would never let him up here unless he had permission.

"Um, no I'm not. Uh...I'm Steve and uh...well I think you would know me better as Captain America and-" The mug that had been sliding out of Steve's hands finally fell to the ground and shattered, scaring both of them.

"Peter, would you like me to inform Mr. Stark that another mug has been broken?" F.R.I.D.A.Y. asked, making them jump again. Peter held back a smile when he replied.

"Sure, but make sure to add that it wasn't my fault this time!"

"Mr. Stark has been informed and is making his way to the lounge now. He has asked me to tell you to not touch anything or move until all the glass has been removed and it is safe to walk around." Peter rolled his eyes at how overprotective his dad was being. "He has added that the previous commands do not apply to Steve and would like to say 'fuck you' for breaking his MIT mug." Peter smiled widely at that, knowing that Tony was just being the drama queen he was.

The elevator _ping_ ed open and Tony came half-heartedly stomping in.

" _Another_ mug? Really Steve? I swear I'm going to ban you from using them." He looked at the floor and frowned. "At least there was nothing in it this time. I can still smell coffee whenever I'm forced to enter your room." He saw something peeking out from under a chair and bent down to get it, flipping it over to see what was written. When he saw the red numbers at the top, a real, award-winning smile broke out on his face. He whipped around to face Peter and pulled him into a side hug. They started to walk away, leaving Steve with the shattered mug and no broom to clean it up with.

"Great job, kid! I knew you'd do well. Let's go show Pepper, then we can bust out the ice cream and talk about..." Steve stopped listening and was about to start cleaning up when he heard something the kid said.

"Thanks, Dad."

 _Tony_ was his father?


	2. The One Day Tony Slept In (Peter meets Rhodey)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you want to see where this chapter lines up in comparison to To Be a Stark, those chapters are:
> 
> Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End - April 20, 2018
> 
> Chapter 2: A Way Back - April 26, 2018
> 
> Chapter 3: Is It Too Late to Fake Being Sick? - June 8, 2018
> 
> **This chapter begins on March 24, 2018**

Peter had somehow woken up just before the sun had risen, and when he asked F.R.I.D.A.Y., before Mr. Stark, too. Because of this surprising information, he decided to make breakfast for the both of them, something that Mr. Stark usually beat him to.

Making his way into the kitchen, he pulled out what he needed to make pancakes, eggs, and bacon from various places around the room, spreading the ingredients all over the counter. When he turned around to find a pan, he nearly flipped himself onto the ceiling. There, sitting at the bar, was Rhodey, staring at him curiously over a steaming mug of...something.

"Um...good morning," Peter spoke cautiously. Mr. Stark hadn't told him that Rhodey would be coming this morning. It wasn't that he minded the man, it was just that he had never met him before outside of their suits.

Rhodey didn't greet him back, in fact, he didn't even blink. Instead, he continued to study Peter, which made him squirm. Understanding that he wasn't going to say anything, Peter turned back to making food, nervously whisking eggs and measuring ingredients. Rhodey finally spoke when the third pancake was halfway through cooking.

"So," Rhodey started (the pancake nearly ended up on the ceiling), "you're the kid." Peter waited for more, then when he realized that was all Rhodey was going to say, blinked and gaped at him.

" _The_ kid? I mean, I know I'm _a_ kid b-but _the_ kid? I don't - I don't exactly appreciate that word, by the way, I'm sixteen - when did you - what has Mr. Stark told you about me exactly?" Peter fumbled over his words.

"Not much, actually. He likes to change the subject every time you come up. Mostly that you're his intern, a literal genius, and to just let you rant once you start because there's no stopping you." Peter flushed and Rhodey was starting to understand why Tony took such a liking to him. It was hard not to. Tony chose that exact moment to walk in, immediately zeroing in on the very cooked pancake, rapidly turning black.

"Kid, this is why I cook and you sit at the bar and talk about Star Wars." Peter's eyes widened when he remembered he was supposed to be making breakfast, but when he turned around to throw away the now inedible circle, Tony merely pointed to a stool and raised an eyebrow. Peter mumbled something about it still being better than what May could do, but took a seat anyway.

When Tony realized that Rhodey had seen the whole thing, he just shrugged and gestured towards Peter.

"Rhodey, Peter. Peter, Rhodey." He flipped a pancake and looked back. "Oh yeah, he's Spider-Man." He continued flipping pancakes and started the eggs and bacon as Rhodey spit his drink back into his mug and Peter fell off the stool with a loud thud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one (sorry) but I'm working on another short one and a longer one.


	3. A Trip Down Memory Lane (Peter recalls the Stark Expo and the Hammer Drones)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you want to see where this chapter lines up in comparison to To Be a Stark, those chapters are:
> 
> Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End - April 20, 2018
> 
> Chapter 2: A Way Back - April 26, 2018
> 
> Chapter 3: Is It Too Late to Fake Being Sick? - June 8, 2018
> 
> **This chapter begins on June 7, 2018**

“Remember Justin Hammer?” Peter said casually over a bowl of cereal five minutes before he had to leave for school. Tony spat out his coffee and started coughing violently.

“Course I remember him. Guy was a fucking dick.” Rhodey shot him a disapproving glance for swearing in front of Peter. He attempted to kick Tony’s leg under the table, but missed and ended up kicking the table leg. The table shook, spilling some of Tony’s coffee out of his mug, causing Tony to sneer at Rhodey for a moment.

“Whatever happened to him?” Tony gave him a weird look before replying.

“Well considering he literally tried to ruin my life and have me killed, I don’t really know or care. But I’ll take a guess and say he’s probably still in jail. Why do you ask?” Peter shrugged.

“Just wondering. Did you know one of his drones tried to kill me?” Tony nearly fell off his stool and Rhodey practically hacked up a lung. Peter looked innocently at both of them.

“Jesus, Peter, are you trying to give us heart attacks this morning?” Rhodey gasped.

“Yeah, if you hadn’t blown the drone up, dad, it would have blasted me to hell and back.” Tony grasped his chest, right where the Arc Reactor was, his eyes bulging out. He took a few deep breaths before something clicked and he glanced up quickly.

“Wait...wait, were you that tiny kid with the mask on? The one who held his hand up and was going to get blown up when I came and got rid of it before it could do that?”

Peter nodded enthusiastically, surprised that Tony remembered that. Rhodey was in shock, a spoon dangling from his fingers, milk dripping down his chin.

“You still remember that, Tony?” Tony shrugged and made that face where he was trying not to make a big deal out of something.

“Excuse you, Rhodey, but I have a great memory.“ Rhodey scoffed at that. “Actually, I occasionally wondered what happened to him. Obviously, he survived that drone, but I didn’t know anything after that.” He turned to Peter and gave him a small smile. “I’m glad to know that the kid was you.” A smirk replaced his smile. “Couldn’t have my favorite Spider-Baby getting defeated by Justin Hammer. Where would my midnight entertainment be?”

Peter decided that he should hurry if he didn’t want to be late for school.

“Bye, Spider-Baby!” Tony called after him.

“Bye, Iron Dad!” Peter shouted back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys like me writing what the chapter is about in the titles instead of the chapter summary?
> 
> Also, if you have ideas for what to write about next, please feel free to tell me :)


	4. 'Wrap the Baby in Bubble Wrap' Protocol (the school's chemistry lab catches fire and Karen calls Tony)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you want to see where this chapter lines up in comparison to To Be a Stark, those chapters are:
> 
> Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End - April 20, 2018
> 
> Chapter 2: A Way Back - April 26, 2018
> 
> Chapter 3: Is It Too Late to Fake Being Sick? - June 8, 2018
> 
> **This chapter begins on June 21, 2018**

Peter had just finished telling Ned about his patrol the previous evening when the hair on the back of his neck stood on end and goosebumps formed on his arms. He frantically looked around to find the source of danger, only to see class carrying on as usual. The only thing wrong was the faint scent of...

Too late.

The bunsen burner that the teacher had turned on to demonstrate with was left to heat the chemicals for too long, causing them to start smoking then explode in a burst of flames. Her desk quickly caught fire next, starting to spread quickly, traveling down the sides and onto the floor, following the chemicals that had fallen there when the beaker blew up. The sprinkler system went off, dousing everyone, but didn't seem to be doing a very good job of putting out the fires. The alarm went off, forcing people to cover their ears while trying to exit the classroom.

Everyone was screaming, Ned was shaking Peter, and Peter was trying to shut off his phone in a desperate attempt to make sure Karen didn't do anything.

Once again, it was too late.

As soon as he made it out of the building, his last-minute attempt to power down his phone failed, as Karen spoke confidently, yet soothing, through the speaker.

"Peter, a major fire has been started within a one hundred yard radius near you. During your attempts to make sure I did not contact Mr. Stark, I activated the 'Wrap the Baby in Bubble Wrap' Protocol. Mr. Stark has been alerted, as well as the nearest fire and police department, and they are all en route now. The firetrucks, ambulances, and police shall arrive in approximately two and a half minutes, factoring in traffic. Mr. Stark has requested to go supersonic and shall arrive in 43 seconds."

True to what Karen said, 43 seconds later, an Iron Man suit landed not three feet away from Peter, opening to reveal a _very_ frantic Tony Stark. He pulled Peter into his arms, then forced him away and started checking him over.

"Jesus, Pete, I gave you a phone for a reason. _Call me_ when things like this happen. This is why I had to install that protocol, cause I knew you wouldn't want me to know." This was the first time the protocol had been activated. It was put in place when Peter's train randomly broke down and derailed. Nobody was hurt, but Tony had a heart attack when he found out several hours later from the news. He gestured at the suit, which closed up and flew above the school, emptying water from God knows where onto the school roof and through the windows.

By now, people were starting to stare at Peter and his unexpected guest. He could hear the whispers floating around, the theories they were coming up with. Ned had found MJ and the two were talking about what Tony named Peter's new protocol. Peter just hid his face in his dad's chest and muttered something.

"Speak up, kid. I'm not deaf like Clint, but I sure as hell can't understand you when you're taking into my suit." Peter rolled his eyes and pushed away.

"I _said_ , I'm going to hack into Karen, or get Ned to do it, and at least change the name of the protocol, if not delete it entirely." Tony raised an eyebrow, a small smirk forming on his face.

"Oh, I learned from my mistake last time. Not only did I upgrade my security, but now you have to get past F.R.I.D.A.Y. to get into Karen. There's _no_ way you can-" he cut himself off and squinted at Peter. "You know what, I'll change it myself, I don't trust you." Peter just smiled innocently up at him.


	5. I Am So Sorry

Hey guys.

So, my computer broke and I spent all day yesterday and all day today trying to fix it (and it is fixed now), but in the process of fixing it, I had to wipe my computer of everything except personal data (pictures and files) and I've lost all of my one-shot drafts and ideas. I obviously did not intend for this to happen, but it did and I'm so incredibly sorry. I spent so long on them trying to make them perfect and now that they're gone I feel mostly frustrated and sad and I honestly don't know if I will keep writing, but I want to, so I guess just have to see.


	6. Fuck, Marry, Kill (girls find out Peter has abs)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you want to see where this chapter lines up in comparison to To Be a Stark, those chapters are:
> 
> Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End - April 20, 2018
> 
> Chapter 2: A Way Back - April 26, 2018
> 
> Chapter 3: Is It Too Late to Fake Being Sick? - June 8, 2018
> 
> **This chapter begins on May 11, 2018**

The good news? It was Friday. The bad news? It was last period and Peter had gym class and they were doing part two of the Captain America Fitness Test. Peter knew he could ace every part of the test, but he was Peter Parker, not Spider-Man, and Peter Parker couldn’t do seventy-five sit-ups in a minute and Peter Parker could not do fifteen pull-ups and Peter Parker definitely couldn’t climb a thirty-foot rope to the ceiling.

So when it was Peter’s turn to climb the rope, he made every excuse in the book.

After going to the bathroom, twice, getting a drink of water, and pretending to have a cramp, Coach Wilson gave Peter one look and pointed to the rope.

“Mr. Parker, I know that you don’t like this, I know no student likes this, but it is required by the state, unless you have a doctor’s note, that every student takes this exam. That includes climbing this rope.” Peter huffed out a breath and stared up the suddenly daunting cable. Looking around, he found Ned’s gaze, who gave him a wide smile and two thumbs up. He continued looking and found MJ sitting on the bleachers looking bored out of her mind and only half paying attention to the group of girls sitting near her. She cocked her head and gave him a shrug before muttering something about him being the only male in the world who didn’t want to show off in gym class. Peter gave a quiet laugh at that.

He was about to climb the rope when the most annoying voice reached his ears.

“Penis Parker is about to climb the rope everyone! Coach, where is the net? We need to catch him when he falls! Wait, no, we don’t need a net, he won’t make it that far off the ground!” Peter rolled his eyes at Flash’s comment. Honestly, Peter wasn’t sure how Flash made it past middle school. His maturity was stuck there, he was surprised that is IQ had advanced past those years.

He heard the group of girls on the bleachers begin to whisper again as he grabbed the rope.

“Honestly, there aren’t that many boys in our school that I would want to fuck, let alone marry. But I would kill Flash, without a doubt.”

“I don’t know, I think if I had to marry someone, I think I wouldn’t mind getting stuck with Ned.” Peter smiled, happy that his friend was chosen, and concentrated on making it look like he was struggling.

“Seriously Betty? You shouldn’t settle for Ned because he’s nice. I need a man who can cook and give me a massage when I need one. There are much better people you could marry in this school.”

“Oh yeah? Name one.”

“Abe would be fine.”

“Meh, he’s a little too sarcastic for my taste.”

“So? Have you seen those fingers? Girl, he has piano fingers, long and skinny. Imagine what he could do with tho-”

“So do you want to marry him or just fuck him? Because it sounds to me like-”

“Okay, but can we at least agree that we should kill Flash?"

“Oh, definitely. No one was arguing with you on that one, Cindy.”

Peter had started to pay too much attention to their conversation and not on the rope that he was scaling because when his hand suddenly only grabbed onto air, he panicked and flailed wildly, attempting to grab back onto the rope before he fell twelve feet back onto the hard floor of the gymnasium. He slid down a few inches before flipping and falling face-first towards the ground. The group of girls screamed and he could make out Ned’s worried gasp and MJ’s “oh no.” He managed to grab onto the rope with both hands, [ still upside down](https://cartoongoodies.com/png_images/spider-man-hanging-upside-down/), reminding him of all the times he studied in the position, hanging onto his web fluid, feet pressed together and hands gripping tightly to the thread hanging from his bedroom ceiling.

In his current position, his shirt started to obey the laws of gravity and slip, falling over his face. The girls gasped again but for a different reason this time.

“Oh my sweet baby Jesus, look at those _abs_!”

“Holy hell, who knew that that was what Peter has been hiding under all of his sweatshirts.”

“I’ve changed my mind, I wouldn’t mind fucking him.”

“Cindy!”

“What? When you have abs like that, you know that the guy has to be strong. Imagine what he could do to you…”

Peter could feel his face getting redder with each passing second, so he carefully flipped himself back up and slowly made his way back down the remaining feet of the rope before asking Coach Wilson if he could be excused from class. He nodded, still a bit shocked at Peter falling so far. Peter, taking advantage of that, snagged Ned on his way out of the gym, passing a gaping Flash, and made his way to the locker room to change, praying that no one brought this...event up on Monday.

Peter cringed when he remembered what kind of girls were in his grade. This wasn’t going to go away any time soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I've decided that, yes, I will continue writing this story and have managed to remember a few of my other ideas for other chapters and have jotted down a few ideas for those as well.
> 
> Also, just a warning, this was written at midnight because I can't sleep and I really wanted to write this chapter, so forgive me for any mistakes.


	7. Ew (Tony gives Peter gum)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you want to see where this chapter lines up in comparison to To Be a Stark, those chapters are:
> 
> Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End - April 20, 2018
> 
> Chapter 2: A Way Back - April 26, 2018
> 
> Chapter 3: Is It Too Late to Fake Being Sick? - June 8, 2018
> 
> **This chapter begins on April 30, 2018**
> 
> This is a short chapter, but there will be another one soon!

Tony decided to give Peter a ride to school today, seeing as it was his first day back from vacation and the first day he had to get to school from his new home. He also wanted to embarrass the crap out of the kid when he pulled up to Midtown.

"C'mon, Mr. Stark, can you at least drop me off, like, a block away or something?" Peter practically begged.

"No can do, Petey boy."

"Please never call me that again." Tony looked over for a second, but it was long enough to see Peter's red face, which was twisted into an uncomfortable expression.

"Aw, kid, you know I'm just joking around. Besides, image that kid's face when you get out of my car!" Peter thought for a second before shrugging.

"I guess it would be worth it. But then he would just say that I paid you or something because - _oof_!" Tony smacked his had into Peter's stomach, dropping something on his lap.

"Oops," Tony said in a tone that showed he wasn't sorry at all. Peter looked down to see a familiar green packet. "Chew some gum, that way I don't have to hear any more about that dick of a classmate of yours anymore."

"Mr. Stark! You can't say things like that! Also, chewing gum doesn't stop me from speak-"

"Up ba bup." Tony pointed at the packet. "Chew. Gum totally prevents you from speaking." Peter rolled his eyes and grabbed a little silver packet, unfolding it and sliding the gum into his mouth. He chewed once before his mouth fell open and the gum slipped out of his mouth onto his lap.

"What the fuck?" Peter whispered as Tony just stared incredulously at him. Then, "Ew, ew, ew, _ew!_ The _taste_. Oh, gross get it out of my mouth! Mr. Stark is there any water in here? I can't - oh thank _god_." Peter chugged the water that Tony handed him. When the water was gone, he looked over at Tony with a questioning look.

"What just happened to me?" Tony looked at the packet of gum and snickered.

"Spiders don't like mint. Looks like you inherited that trait from the bite." It took Peter a second to process what he was saying.

"Does this mean no more mint chocolate chip ice cream?"


	8. On a Scale of 'Spit on My Food to Kill a Puppy in Front of Me?' (Peter meets Loki and Thor)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you want to see where this chapter lines up in comparison to To Be a Stark, those chapters are:
> 
> Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End - April 20, 2018
> 
> Chapter 2: A Way Back - April 26, 2018
> 
> Chapter 3: Is It Too Late to Fake Being Sick? - June 8, 2018
> 
> **This chapter begins on May 21, 2018**
> 
> I'm not completely happy with this chapter and will definitely edit it later, but please enjoy it anyway!

Peter got home from school and immediately marched over to the kitchen, slinging his backpack off of his arm onto the breakfast bar and watching half-heartedly as it almost slid off the other end.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., ask dad if we can have a pizza night." He started to rummage through the cabinets, looking for junk food when she replied.

"Did you have a bad day today, Peter?" He nodded and found a chocolate bar. "Would you like me to call Mr. Stark up from the lab?"

"No thanks, F.R.I.D.A.Y." Peter bit into the bar and nearly moaned in delight. It took him nearly three whole minutes to realize that he was not alone. He spun around and squealed when he realized that there were two men standing on the opposite end of the kitchen, just watching him.

"Brother, the small Midgardian has finally noticed us!"

"Yes, I have eyes and can see that for myself, thank you." Peter blinked at the two of them, recognizing them once he got over the shock of seeing two strange men staring at him.

"Oh...oh my god - gods? - oh wow, you're...you're Thor and Loki! Oh _wow,_ we learned about you in history class! You guys are amazing! I did a research project on you, Mr. Loki God of Mischief sir, in tenth grade and I had to do so much research and can I ask you a few questions to see if I got anything right? Oh my god, Ned is going to be so jealous, he did his project on you, Mr. Thor God of Thunder and Lightning sir!" Peter took a breath before he realized he was bouncing up and down and immediately stopped and felt his face go red.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to talk this much. I'm just gonna...I'm gonna...yeah." And before Thor or Loki could even blink, he was gone.

"Thor, did he say that he did a _project_ on me?"

"Yes, brother, he did."

"I believe that not all Midgardians are horrible."

* * *

"Oh my god, dad, it was so embarrassing! Why can't I ever stop talking?" Tony snickered at Peter's unfortunate luck. He had been tinkering with a small robot that Peter had built the night before to see if he could improve it in any way when the boy had come racing in, panting with his face extremely flushed and started to jitter nervously about gods and projects and long, formal titles. Tony hadn't understood any of it before he got Peter to calm down and explain what had actually happened.

"They're going to _hate_ me now!"

"No, I don't think they'll hate you. Hate is a strong word."

"Dad...Loki tried to kill us all a few years ago and he didn't even know us. He just heard me ramble and then watched me run away looking like a tomato. I think he has a legitimate reason to hate me."

"Alright, let's think of it this way. On a scale of one to t-"

"No! I hate that scale!"

"Well, do you have a better one?"

"Yes! On a scale of spit on my food to kill a puppy in front of me." Tony rolled his eyes but humored his innocent son.

"Fine, on a scale of spit on your food to kill a puppy in front of you, I think rambling and fleeing would be not holding the door open behind him even though he knows you're right there."

Peter gasped. "A nine?"

"No! Like a two or a three!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year, guys!


End file.
